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How to help an alcoholic: what works for families

You can help, even if they say they don't have a problem. Talk when they're sober, stay calm, reward the times they don't drink, and get support for yourself. A method called CRAFT works better than a confrontational "intervention", says the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. One safety rule: someone who drinks heavily every day shouldn't stop suddenly on their own, because alcohol withdrawal can be dangerous. Here's what to do, step by step, and who pays for treatment in Texas.

Updated October 27, 2026. General information, not medical, legal or insurance advice.

If you need help now: call 911 in an emergency. In a mental health or substance use crisis, call or text 988, any time. SAMHSA's National Helpline, 1-800-662-4357, is free, confidential and open 24/7 for treatment referrals. If you're not safe at home, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-7233, free and open 24/7.

The short version

Look after yourself first. Join Al-Anon or a family group, or see a counselor of your own. You'll help better when you're not running on empty.
Learn what works. Calm, positive talk and rewarding sober time work better than yelling, threats or a surprise confrontation.
Pick your moment. Talk when they're sober and things are calm, not mid-argument or after a drinking night.
Have options ready. Know two or three places they could call or visit this week, and what their insurance covers.
Keep safety first. If they drink heavily every day, they should quit with a doctor or detox program, not cold turkey. If you or your children aren't safe, get out and get help.
Don't give up. SAMHSA notes that helping doesn't happen overnight. If they say no today, keep the door open and ask again.

What helps and what backfires

Usually helps	Usually backfires
Talking when they're sober, in private, without distractions	Arguing while they're drunk or hungover
Saying how their drinking affects you, with "I" statements	Labels, lectures and name-calling
Noticing and enjoying the times they don't drink	Giving them extra attention only when they drink
Asking what kind of help they'd be willing to try	Ganging up on them or backing them into a corner
Letting them face the results of their drinking, while you stay safe	Covering for them, calling in sick for them, or cleaning up every mess
Getting support for yourself, whether or not they change	Waiting for them to "hit bottom" before you do anything

Alcohol use disorder is a medical condition, not a lack of willpower, says NIAAA. Treating it that way makes the conversation easier for both of you.

CRAFT: the approach with the best results

CRAFT stands for Community Reinforcement and Family Training. It works with you, the family member, not the person who drinks. NIAAA's Alcohol Treatment Navigator says it has been shown to work better than confronting the person in an intervention. SAMHSA's family therapy guide describes it as a short, structured program that teaches family members ways to encourage their loved one to change and to enter treatment.

In CRAFT, you learn to:

Make sober time rewarding, and stop making drinking easier or more comfortable.
Communicate in a positive way, so talks don't turn into fights.
Spot the right moments, when they may be open to the idea of treatment, and have a plan ready.
Take care of yourself, and keep yourself and your children safe.

Research reviewed by NIAAA found that CRAFT led to much more help-seeking than Al-Anon alone, and family members' own depression and anxiety improved with both. Many therapists and some treatment programs offer CRAFT. NIAAA also points families to a CRAFT book written by its developers, Get Your Loved One Sober. Ask a counselor near you whether they use it.

What about an intervention?

The TV-style intervention, where family and friends surprise the person and confront them as a group, is what many people picture. NIAAA says CRAFT works better than that kind of confrontation. A confrontation can make someone feel trapped and defensive, and it can hurt trust you'll need later.

If you want to bring the family together, keep it calm and supportive: each person says what they've seen and that they care, and you offer a specific next step. A counselor trained in family approaches can help you plan it.

How to start the conversation

NIAAA's tips for the first talk:

Choose the time. When they're sober and things are calm. Not during a holiday dinner, a crisis or a drinking night.
Plan what you'll say, and practice it with someone you trust. These talks get emotional.
Stay calm and kind. Be specific: "Last week you missed your son's game. I miss you."
Explain that it's treatable, and that there are many kinds of help.
Ask what they'd try: a doctor visit, a counselor, a group, an online program.
If they say no, give it time, then look at options again together.

If they're in danger right now, call 911.

If they're in denial or refuse help

This is the most common situation families face. Denial doesn't mean you've failed, and it doesn't mean nothing will change.

Keep using CRAFT skills. They were built for loved ones who refuse treatment.
Lower the bar. If rehab is a "no", ask about a checkup with their doctor, one counseling session, or a medication for cravings. A primary care doctor can prescribe the FDA-approved medications for alcohol use disorder.
Set limits you can keep, and tell them calmly. For example: "I won't ride with you after you've been drinking." Then follow through.
Get your own support, whatever they decide (see Al-Anon and Alateen).

An adult can't usually be forced into treatment. Texas law (Health and Safety Code, Chapter 462) lets a court order treatment for chemical dependency in limited cases, after a sworn application and a medical exam. It's a legal process, so ask your county or district attorney's office or a lawyer whether it applies.

Helping an alcoholic husband, wife or partner

Protect yourself and your children first. If there's violence or threats, see Safety.
Separate your money where you need to, so bills and rent get paid whatever happens.
Stop covering. Don't call their boss for them or make excuses to family. It's kind in the moment, but it shields them from the reasons to change.
Ask about couples help. Many programs include family sessions. Once your partner is in treatment, ask whether you can join some sessions.

Helping an alcoholic son or daughter

An adult child makes their own medical decisions. You can't sign them into treatment, and programs can't share their information with you without their written consent. What you can do:

Use CRAFT: reward sober time, and stop paying for things that make drinking easier.
Decide what you will and won't provide, such as rent, a car or cash, and say it calmly.
Offer to help with the hard parts of getting care: finding a program, the insurance call, a ride to the first visit. A young adult can stay on a parent's health plan until 26.

A teenager is different: you can usually arrange an assessment and treatment. See our guide to teen drug and alcohol treatment in Texas.

A parent, brother or friend

The same skills work for anyone you love: calm talk at the right time, a concrete offer of help, and support for yourself. If you grew up with a parent who drank, NIAAA lists Adult Children of Alcoholics as a group for family members, along with Al-Anon and SMART Recovery Family & Friends. An older parent with Medicare can get outpatient substance use care and hospital care for alcohol through Medicare (see Who pays).

Safety: withdrawal and violence

Alcohol withdrawal can be dangerous. For someone who drinks heavily, stopping suddenly can bring shakiness, sweating, anxiety, nausea, trouble sleeping and a fast heartbeat. Symptoms usually start within 8 hours of the last drink and peak in 1 to 3 days. In the worst cases come seizures and delirium tremens (severe confusion, hallucinations, fever), which can become life-threatening quickly.

Before they quit: if they drink heavily and often, call their doctor or a detox program first. NIAAA notes that some people need medical care, or detox, to get through withdrawal safely.
Call 911 or go to the ER for seizures, fever, severe confusion, hallucinations or an irregular heartbeat.
More in our guide: alcohol detox in Texas: do you need it, and where to go.

If drinking comes with violence, your safety and your children's come first. Call 911 in danger. The National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-7233 (or text START to 88788), is free and open 24/7 and can help you plan, and Texas HHSC's Family Violence Program funds shelters and services across the state.

Al-Anon and Alateen: meetings for family members of alcoholics

Al-Anon is a support group for anyone affected by someone else's drinking. It's not AA: you go for yourself, not for the person who drinks.

Free: there are no dues or fees. Groups pass a basket, and you give only what you can.
No sign-up: no referral or registration is needed, and it isn't a religious program.
Find a meeting: in person, by phone or online, at al-anon.org, in the Al-Anon app, or by calling 1-888-425-2666 (1-888-4AL-ANON).
Alateen is Al-Anon's group for teens affected by someone else's drinking. Many Alateen groups meet at the same time and place as an Al-Anon group.

Al-Anon helps you cope, while CRAFT is aimed at getting your loved one into treatment. Many families use both.

Treatment options

NIAAA describes three main kinds of help, which can be combined:

Counseling, one-on-one, in groups or with family, led by a licensed professional.
Medications. The FDA has approved three for alcohol use disorder: naltrexone, acamprosate and disulfiram. They aren't addictive, and a primary care doctor can prescribe them.
Mutual-support groups, like AA and SMART Recovery, for the person who drinks.

Treatment comes in levels, from weekly counseling to intensive outpatient (IOP), partial hospitalization (PHP), residential and hospital care. Detox, when it's needed, is only the first step. Our guide to IOP vs PHP vs weekly therapy explains the levels, and how to choose a therapist helps you pick a counselor.

Who pays for alcohol treatment in Texas

Coverage	What to know
Private insurance	In Texas, every fully insured plan must include substance use benefits, and the parity law keeps them in line with medical care. Self-funded employer plans don't have to cover it, but if they do, parity applies. Call the number on the card.
Texas Medicaid	Covers assessment, outpatient counseling, withdrawal care, residential treatment and medication. Members don't pay copays. Most adults without children or a disability can't get Texas Medicaid.
Medicare	Part A covers inpatient hospital care; Part B covers outpatient substance use care, including IOP and PHP.
Veterans	VA health care offers detox, counseling and residential programs to enrolled veterans. TRICARE covers substance use treatment for military families.
No insurance	Texas funds treatment for adults whose income qualifies. Start with the local OSAR (Outreach, Screening, Assessment and Referral) program: call 2-1-1.

The details: does insurance cover rehab?, how to use your insurance in Texas and how to apply for Texas Medicaid.

Finding care near you

Answer four quick questions to see which level of care to start with, or search Texas providers by insurance. Of the Texas addiction treatment programs on Cima Find Care, 485 offer outpatient care, 223 offer IOP and 184 offer detox. By city: Houston, Dallas, San Antonio, Austin, Fort Worth and El Paso, or every Texas city. NIAAA's Alcohol Treatment Navigator lists questions to ask a program. More plain-language guides are on our guides page.

Questions families ask

How do I help an alcoholic who doesn't want help?

Focus on what you control: how you respond to drinking, what you pay for, and your own support. CRAFT was designed for exactly this, and NIAAA says it works better than confrontation. Keep offering one small, specific step, like a doctor visit.

How do I help an alcoholic quit drinking at home?

If they drink heavily and often, don't let them quit cold turkey alone. Call their doctor or a detox program first: many people can detox as outpatients, with daily check-ins and medication, but some need 24-hour care. If they drink less, a doctor or counselor can still help them make a plan to cut down or stop.

What do I do if they relapse?

A return to drinking is common, and it doesn't mean treatment failed. Stay calm, keep them safe, and help them get back in touch with their counselor or program. Recovery often takes more than one try.

What if they're drinking and depressed?

Many people live with both. Look for a program that treats mental health and substance use together. If they talk about suicide, call or text 988, or 911 if they're in danger.

Can I talk to their counselor?

Only with their written permission. Federal privacy rules (42 CFR Part 2) protect substance use treatment records even more closely than other health records. You can always share what you know with the counselor, even if they can't tell you anything back.