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My teenager sleeps all day, won't go to school, says they hate me: when to get help

Some moodiness, late nights and pushing back are a normal part of growing up. Get help when a change lasts for weeks, gets in the way of school, friends or home, or worries you or your teen. Call your teen's doctor first. If your teen talks about suicide or isn't safe, call or text 988 now. Here's how to tell the difference, and who to call in Texas.

Updated October 27, 2026. General information, not medical, legal or insurance advice. This guide can't diagnose your teen; a doctor or licensed clinician can.

If you need help now: call 911 in an emergency. If your teen talks about suicide or self-harm, or you're worried about their safety, call or text 988, any time; for Spanish, press 2. SAMHSA's National Helpline, 1-800-662-4357, is free, confidential and open 24/7 for treatment referrals. Texas teens and parents can also call the Texas Youth Helpline, 1-800-989-6884, free and confidential, 24/7.

The short version

Watch how long, and how much. The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) suggests getting help when a behavior or feeling lasts for weeks or longer, causes distress, or gets in the way of school, home or friends.
Talk with your teen calmly, and listen more than you talk. Expect some pushback.
Call your teen's doctor. A pediatrician or family doctor can check for medical causes, screen for depression and anxiety, and refer you.
Tell the school counselor if school is part of the problem, and ask what help the school has.
Act at once if your teen talks about suicide, hurts themselves, or isn't safe: call or text 988, or call 911.

Typical teen, or a sign of trouble?

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) lists these as normal for middle school and early high school: moodiness, showing less affection to parents, sometimes being rude, complaining that parents get in the way of their independence, and acting younger when stressed. It says conflict with parents usually eases in the later teen years.

Often typical	Worth a closer look
Staying up late and sleeping in on weekends	Sleeping much more or much less than before, or exhausted all the time, for weeks
Wanting privacy and more time with friends	Pulling away from friends and family, and spending more and more time alone
Moody, rude at times, arguing about rules	Irritable or angry most days, or sad most of the time, for two weeks or more
Losing interest in one hobby and picking up another	Losing interest in almost everything they used to enjoy
A bad grade or a hard week	A sharp drop in grades, or missing school more and more

One sign alone may mean nothing. What matters is a change from how your teen usually is, how long it lasts, and how much it gets in the way. If other adults in your teen's life are worried too, AACAP suggests talking with a mental health professional.

My teenager sleeps all day, or is tired all the time

Some of this is biology. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) explains that puberty shifts a teen's body clock later, so it's harder to fall asleep early or wake up early. The CDC says teens 13 to 18 need 8 to 10 hours of sleep a night, and many get much less on school nights, then catch up on weekends.

It's worth a doctor's visit when your teen:

sleeps far more than before and is still tired, or can't get out of bed for school;
also seems sad, irritable or uninterested in things, has lost or gained weight, or is pulling away;
is tired all the time even with enough sleep.

NIMH notes that older teens with depression are more likely to sleep too much and eat more, and that some medicines and medical conditions, such as thyroid problems, can cause the same symptoms as depression. That's why the doctor is the first stop: a physical exam and lab tests can rule those out. Drinking, drugs and vaping can also change sleep; see our guides to teen drug and alcohol treatment and teen vaping help.

My teenager refuses to go to school

AACAP says school refusal isn't a diagnosis on its own. It's a pattern with different causes, most often anxiety. When it starts in an older child or teen, it's more often tied to trouble with friends, bullying, depression or other mental health concerns.

Common signs: headaches, stomachaches or feeling sick in the morning that ease once your teen is allowed to stay home; begging to stay home; many visits to the school nurse.
See the doctor to check the physical complaints, and ask about anxiety and depression.
Meet with the school. Ask the school counselor what's going on at school, such as bullying, and what support they can offer. AACAP notes a 504 plan or special education services (an IEP) may help if your teen qualifies.
Ask for an evaluation in writing. If you think a disability, including an emotional or mental health condition, is affecting school, you can ask for a special education evaluation. The Texas Education Agency (TEA) says that after a written request, the school has 15 school days to either propose the evaluation and ask for your consent, or explain in writing why it won't.

Don't wait on absences. Under Texas law, a school must start truancy prevention measures when a student has unexcused absences on 3 or more days or parts of days in a 4-week period. Ten or more unexcused days or parts of days in 6 months can lead to a referral to truancy court for students 12 and older, and that referral must say whether the student is eligible for special education. Tell the school early what's going on.

My teenager hates me, or won't talk to me

Hearing "I hate you" hurts, but AACAP lists pulling away from parents, occasional rudeness and complaints about parents' rules as typical of early adolescence. Pushing for independence is part of growing up.

Keep the door open. Short, low-pressure talks (in the car, over food) often go better than big sit-downs. Listen without lecturing.
Look past the words. AAP notes that in teens, depression often shows up as irritability or anger rather than sadness.
Get help for the family, too. If arguments at home are constant, or your teen is "out of control," Texas's free Family and Youth Success (FAYS) program offers counseling or coaching for families with youth under 18 (some areas serve ages 6 to 17). It's confidential. Find your county's provider on the Texas HHS FAYS page.
Running away: the Texas Youth Helpline, 1-800-989-6884, helps parents whose teen has run away or may run, and can pass messages between a runaway teen and their parents.

Signs of depression and anxiety in teens

Possible signs of depression	Possible signs of anxiety
Sad, empty or irritable most of the time, for two weeks or more	Worry or fear that's hard to control, or feeling constantly "on edge"
Losing interest in things they used to enjoy	Avoiding school, activities or people
Sleeping or eating much more or less than before; low energy	Panic, or physical symptoms such as stomachaches or headaches with no clear cause
Trouble concentrating, falling grades, pulling away from friends and family	Teens may not realize they're anxious, so the signs can be less clear

Thoughts of death, suicide or self-harm are always urgent. See when it's urgent.

These lists come from NIMH and the AAP. NIMH says depression looks different in everyone: a teen may have many of these signs or just a few. The AAP's rule of thumb: if you notice signs of depression for more than two weeks, talk with your child's doctor.

NIMH also lists other signs in older children and teens that mean an evaluation could help: unusually high energy with much less sleep, extreme dieting or fear of gaining weight, risky or destructive behavior, using alcohol, tobacco or drugs, and hurting themselves.

My teenager talks to himself

On its own, talking to himself doesn't tell you much. What matters is what comes with it. NIMH's list of signs that an older child or teen may need an evaluation does include hearing things other people can't hear, or believing someone is controlling their mind.

Call your teen's doctor soon if talking to himself comes with any of these, which NIMH lists as possible early signs of psychosis: a sudden drop in grades, trouble thinking clearly or concentrating, new suspicious or intense ideas, pulling away from others, sleep problems, or no longer taking care of himself. NIMH says psychosis often begins in the late teens to mid-20s, and that getting help early matters. If your teen seems confused, out of touch with what's real, or unsafe, call or text 988, or call 911.

When it's urgent

Call 911 or go to the emergency room if your teen has hurt themselves badly, swallowed pills or poison, or is in immediate danger.
Call or text 988 if your teen talks about suicide or wanting to die, self-harms, or threatens to hurt someone. You can call for your teen, and you don't have to be sure it's a crisis. The AAP says to take every mention of suicide seriously, and that asking your teen directly about suicide does not raise the risk.
Lock up or remove guns, medicines (including over-the-counter pills), alcohol and other dangerous items. The AAP says removing a gun from the home is the safest choice; if it stays, store it locked and unloaded, with ammunition locked separately.
Your county's crisis line: every Texas county has a local mental health authority with a 24/7 crisis line; find yours in HHSC's directory or call 2-1-1.

Who to call first

Who	What they can do
Your teen's pediatrician or family doctor	Rule out medical causes, screen for depression, anxiety and substance use, start treatment, and refer you to a therapist or psychiatrist. The AAP suggests the pediatrician as a first call, and can help build a safety plan.
The school counselor	Tell you what they see at school, and what help the school has. Some Texas districts take part in TCHATT, the state's free school-based telehealth counseling program, which needs a parent's consent. Ask whether your school does.
A licensed therapist	Counseling for your teen, and often for the family. See teen counseling in Texas for how to find one and who can consent.
Your local mental health authority	Community mental health care for children 3 to 17 with serious needs. HHSC says a family's inability to pay shouldn't block care; fees are set by a financial assessment. Call 2-1-1 to find yours.
Family and Youth Success (FAYS)	Free, confidential counseling or coaching for families dealing with conflict and everyday struggles, youth under 18.

Getting a mental health evaluation

An evaluation is a set of conversations, questionnaires and sometimes tests that helps a clinician understand what's going on and what will help. It can be done by a child and adolescent psychiatrist, a psychologist, or another licensed mental health professional, and it often starts with your teen's doctor.

Write down what you've seen: what changed, when it started, how often it happens, and what you've tried.
Bring school information, such as report cards, attendance and notes from teachers.
Ask your teen to come willingly. The AAP suggests telling them you understand they may not want to go, and asking them to give it a try.
Ask questions: What do you think is going on? What treatment do you suggest? How will we know it's working? How will I be involved?

NIMH says depression is treated with talk therapy, medication, or both. If weekly therapy isn't enough, more intensive programs exist; see IOP vs PHP vs weekly therapy.

Medicaid, CHIP and insurance

Medicaid (Texas Health Steps): checkups are yearly from age 3 through 20 and include a mental health screening. Texas Medicaid covers mental health care for children; call the behavioral health number on your teen's plan card for in-network help. Medicaid also covers rides to appointments if you have no other way to get there.
CHIP: covers mental health care for children in families that earn too much for Medicaid. Since July 1, 2022, CHIP has charged no co-pays for mental health office visits.
Private insurance: most plans must cover depression screening for teens, starting at age 12, with no copay when you use an in-network provider. Ask your plan what you'll pay for therapy.
No insurance? Apply for Medicaid or CHIP at YourTexasBenefits.com or by calling 2-1-1 (how to apply, step by step). The state checks CHIP automatically if your child doesn't qualify for Medicaid.

More: how to use insurance for therapy in Texas, STAR, STAR Kids and CHIP explained, and how much therapy costs in Texas. Looking for addiction treatment? Search Texas programs on Cima Find Care. More plain-language guides are on our guides page.

Questions parents ask

My teenager sleeps all day. Is that normal?

Partly. Puberty shifts teens' body clocks later, and teens need 8 to 10 hours of sleep. Sleeping much more than before, being tired all the time, or not getting up for school, especially with sadness, irritability or pulling away, is worth a visit to the doctor to check for medical causes and depression.

My teenager is tired all the time. Could it be depression?

It could be, but it could also be too little sleep, a medical condition such as a thyroid problem, a medicine, or substance use. NIMH says a doctor can rule out other causes with an exam, an interview and lab tests. Start with your teen's doctor.

My teenager refuses to go to school. What do I do?

See the doctor to check physical complaints and ask about anxiety and depression, and meet with the school counselor to find out what's happening at school. Ask about a 504 plan or a special education evaluation in writing if a health condition is affecting school. Tell the school early, because unexcused absences start Texas truancy steps.

My teenager doesn't want to do anything. When should I worry?

Losing interest in almost everything, for two weeks or more, is a common sign of depression, especially with sleep or appetite changes, irritability or falling grades. Talk with your teen and call their doctor.

My teenager hates me. Is it something I did?

Teens pulling away from parents, being rude at times and resenting rules are typical in early adolescence, and conflict usually eases later. Constant fighting, anger most days, or a teen who seems sad and withdrawn is a reason to get help, for your teen and for the family. FAYS offers free family counseling in Texas.

My teenager is out of control. Who can help?

If anyone is in danger, call 911. Otherwise, start with your teen's doctor and the school counselor, and look into FAYS, the state's free family counseling program. The Texas Youth Helpline, 1-800-989-6884, also talks with parents, any time. If drinking or drugs are involved, see our teen treatment guide.

My teenager talks to himself. Should I be worried?

Not by itself. Call the doctor if it comes with hearing things others can't hear, new suspicious ideas, confusion, a sudden drop in grades, pulling away or not taking care of himself. If he seems out of touch with reality or unsafe, call or text 988.